"I loved some kind of expression. I didn't know if could write it or paint it, but I knew I could feel it."

You grew up apart from it.
I grew up apart from it. He was in the past. He was an artist but not going to premieres.

Did you always know you wanted to act?
I loved some kind of expression. I didn't know what it was going to be. I didn't know if I could write it, or paint that well, but I knew I could feel it.

So you didn't have a sense of destiny?
No, but I mean if you can feel it, I think that's an actor. I didn't know exactly what I wanted, but I knew I could know. I didn't know any other way to express [myself]. Some people are very good at moving things around, at moving sentences around. I know I want so much to try to explain things to somebody, so I'm very good at trying to just explore different emotions and listen to people and feel things. That is an actor, I think. So that's what I had to do.

How did The Bone Collector, your first starring role in a big studio film, come together?

Phillip [Noyce, the director] and Marty [Bregman, the producer] had seen Gia, and they had to convince the studio. I wasn't a name to sell tickets. They had to fight and adjust the budget, do a lot of things. For me to lead this movie was insane at the time.

You spent a lot of time in tunnels and stockyards. It looks pretty creepy.
The tunnels were amazing. It was just damp and cold . and dirty, and the stench and smell and being there for days! Going back to the hotel room at night, you feel like you're [still] in there.

Did you have a rat phobia before this movie?
I don't have a fear of rats. It's a good thing. I didn't have to work with them except on a table where one comes at me. [She smiles.]

Why is your character, Amelia, always threatening to walk off the case? It's the break of a career yet she doesn't want it.
A policeman does not go near a dead body [the way she does in order to gather evidence]. They don't take it apart or smell it. At the beginning she wants to be away from the streets and at a desk. She doesn't want to become her father [an honest cop who killed himself] and commit suicide. She's not qualified to do that [line of investigative work]. There are lives at stake.

The experience sounds intense. Was Amelia the strongest woman you've played?
It was a lot less intense than I thought it would be. I thought this cop would be the strongest . but in many ways she's the weakest. She had very little self-esteem, and she wasn't very fun and not very free. And very emotional and very disturbed. She's very soft.

Are you soft?
There's a side of me that's that. It's hard when I'm intense - I'm crying and I'm angry. If I'm soft, I'm angry.

Do you think you're simply self-reliant and don't want to lean on someone else?
I don't know if it's self-reliance. I need to learn to let somebody hug me, to need other people. Because I do.

Do you go to therapy?
I do my own therapy quite a lot. My choice of characters is my therapy, from one to the next. Playing by Heart - there is a need for love, somehow she's not very focused on a purpose and work. Amelia [who's all work] was next. Then I go to Girl, Interrupted, a complete sociopath with no emotion and no sensitivity. It was my own way of tapping every side.

Did you say you were in a straitjacket for Girl, Interrupted?
I'm tied to a bed in Girl, and it's a padded room, and they'd sedate my character. She gets shock treatment; it takes place in the '60s and that happened a lot. One of the other characters, she's in there because she's gay, and they shock her out of it.

What do you think when you see yourself like that on-screen?
It's very strange. We don't know much about her. They took out a line that said she's been there 12 years, and she's 26, 27. She's been in all her life.

What about the Oscar talk?
I'm not sure. They're still putting the film together. [She breathes deeply.]

You've just completed a film with Nic Cage about car thieves?
Gone in 60 Seconds, it was my summer vacation - and I wanted to learn about cars. I learned that all the expensive fun cars are fun to drive, like the Lamborghini Diablo, it's like an apartment car. Actually, I learned . how to steal a car.

Did you really turn down Charlie's Angels?
There was never [an offer] - they'd asked me and talked to me. Their selling points were: strong characters for women, and I'd been able to do that; that it will make you a big star, which is frightening and not exactly a plus; and that it's women being able to be sexy. All very fun, but it would have just been a month [of work]. For me, I didn't watch it, and I don't get dressed up. For me, Gone in 60 Seconds is my fun movie - and I'm doing it with the guys.